notes on a slanket

after viewing my last entry i decided that perhaps it was time for me to spend more time out in the world. my life sounds fairly morbid, what with the mosying through cemeteries and spending enough time in pubs for it to qualify as my job. being outside in london however, has just taken a turn for the worse. it's bundle up weather. my days of wearing shorts with stockings are numbered. all this californian mumbo-jumbo about oh my god it's less than 75 and the weatherman is wrong every other day is really to justify a rather hideous impulse buy that i've made as of late. i just felt both my parents cringe, anticipating what horrible product i've bought that i don't need, draining me further of my dwindling funds as i tromp through london in search of a job. well mom and dad i've bought a slanket. "what is a slanket mandy?" one might ask. well, it's a fleece blanket that is in the shape of a jacket, complete with sleeves and a hood. i've been eying these bad boys since my time in la and could no longer resist as it's basically essential to my survival. http://www.theslanket.com/. i also think the advertising is hilarious and frequent the website when in need of a good hearty chuckle. that being said, i didn't actually buy a slanket, i bought a snuggie, the slanket's cheaper, less warm (i have no proof of this) and certainly less trendy cousin. this, i think, should redeem all faith lost.. mom and dad.. common.. it's like i've bought jeans from target (pronounced with a french accent) instead of nordstroms. don't worry i know your beaming with pride at my wise economical and sensible decision. i'll high five myself in celebration.

so, i was sitting on a bench outside my flat, wearing my slanket and scribbling away furiously when i made some new friends. two boys, aged eleven and nine and called thomas and daniel approached me after playing a long game of basketball; where from what I could tell neither of them made a single shot. they were quite good at passing though. "excuse me miss, are you homeless?" asked daniel, staring at my slanket (owning a snuggie pains me so, so for all intensive purposes despite my previous admission, i do in fact own a slanket). "ooh." i smiled and tried to look as un-offended as possible. "no, this is a slanket. it cost me 40 pounds (not true). it's more of a coat then a blanket (also not true)." "i know it's a slanket," thomas affirmed as he eyed me skeptically as though he knew it was in fact a snuggie. "why you wearing it outside?" "it's cold out," i responded. "you look homeless," thomas replied (what a sweeet child). "well technically thomas i'm right out front of my flat so that makes me a.) not really that far outside and b.) not homeless." take that eleven year old! i squeezed logical reasoning and a four syllable word into one sentence. booyah! thomas eyed me skeptically. "well you're a lot smarter than the other tramps, so i guess you aren't one." hah! yes thomas, that's right, i use words like technically and look i've already made an impression on you with my short but sweet lesson on logical reasoning. i am smart; therefore not a tramp, or maybe just not your average tramp. relax, they use tramp over here to mean homeless person; it's not as bad as it sounds and no i did not have the intention of spending this much time discussing homelessness when i sat down to write this.

"do you have a x box?" thomas asked, ruthlessly forging ahead to discover if i was secretly homeless or not. "psshh yeah i've got an x box." relax mom and dad i didn't buy an x box. i lied to the child so as to appear cool, and not homeless. plus my roommate's got one. sharing is caring. "well do you have killing day?" "yeah i did but my flatmate scratched it." no excuses there, that's just a flat out lie. "but I do have guitar hero and rock band" (inherent truths, they are sitting on my living room table). daniel was impressed, "no way! cool!" thomas retorted, "mum won't let us buy those, says playing guitar is dangerous and leads to bad moral character." hmm but killing day employs a good value system? ignoring the silliness of their mum and undermining her completely i said, "well it teaches dexterity and the pacing of music, which i think is pretty important, better than killing games at least." then we got into an interesting and hard hitting discussion about if killing games were ok if you were shooting at aliens who are obviously the bad guys al-ways and for-ever.

at the end of it daniel accused me of having a funny accent. i admitted to being american. well californian actually. big difference. "wow!" said daniel, clearly blown away. thomas looked skeptical again, or maybe he just had to fart, i'm not really sure. i sensed i should be moving on from the bench as i hadn't really gotten much writing done and the left side of my bum was completely asleep. i said "bye", they said "alreet, see you later then."

alreet. see you later then. i've made new friends.

xxx