Umbrellas for sun.

Geez lah-iouse. That's a long line for mid-day. Is Elton John signing copies of The Lion King soundtrack in a Simba costume? Is EAT giving away free lunches? Is Jude Law having an affair in the street?

I keep walking, past the masses eye-balling me, afraid that at any moment I might vaporize and swirl into the tightly packed line, disguising myself amongst them, only to re-emerge, solid and dangerous.
And in line... to see.. oh... that dude looks like Bobby Womack.

Maybe he's performing... at... the... Apple store.

Oh balls.

Nevermind.

It's the iPhone 4/God.

Why are people lining up NOW to get it? On their lunch breaks? Late to work? Taking the day off? What is it about technology that requires people to have it first, to have it NOW.

I mean, I lined up for the Harry Potter books. I even considered attending the pajama party at Barnes and Nobles the night before the release. Popcorn. Pajamas. Sleeping in Barnes and Nobles. At 16, they considered me a slight risk, so it was a no-go. When Subway introduced a limited-time-only-special-vegetarian-sandwich I got there the opening day. Italian vegetarian. More like the vegetarian with extra olives.

I think though that my issue here is supply and demand. JK Rowling only allowed for so many Harry Potter books to be sold. Only special people got them. People with Harry Potter pajamas who ate Berty Bots Every Flavored Beans despite KNOWING that one in three was either grass or vomit flavored. Subway also, runs out of vegetables.

But Apple? Apple will always have more iPhones. And you can go on a waiting list. Or go to O2 or Orange. Or order it online. So why the cue? Why the humid sweaty human caterpillar extending back from Regent's Street?

It's for the prestige. The glamour. The over-all trend-factor.

I walked up and down the line a couple times, taunting people with my trail mix and they just looked back at me, smirking. Even when I took out my iPhone 3GS(ubordinate) they seemed to know it was merely a rouse, a downgrade. Vengefully, I "snapped" their photos. They leaned back glamorously, flipping their hair or tilting their sunglasses whilst being a residue sweat towel for the open chested hairy man behind them. (Yes. Every other person was an open shirted hairy-chested man.)

See. Look at the photo above. The one I took with my iPhone 3GS. Even look at the dude with the vaguely Hawaiian shirt, jeans and Reeboks. He looks trendy by proximity. He's an associate of cool. Of cool-dom.

And see that girl? The one with the floppy hat and jesus sandals? She's blindingly awesome. And you can't see it, but I'll fill you in. She's just walked out the Apple store and HAS IT. Yep. That's the new iPhone 4/God in her hands. Look at her. Taunting everyone with her floppy hat. Giving the crowd a glimpse as she turns her head towards the traffic and then thinks, I have God in my hand. Why even bother checking for cars?